Feeling Positive……About Birth

As I’m sure is the case far too often my second thought following “oh my god I’m actually pregnant” was “oh my god how am I possibly going to get it out!”. Several months and numerous series of One Born Every Minute down the line and I was feeling no less anxious about the prospect of pushing a tiny human through a hole that didn’t appear to have been made for such a task. I decided the best way to combat my fears was to face them head on and find out exactly what it was I had let myself in for. I had seen mentions of hypnobirthing in a few of the books I had taken to reading in the bath and I decided this sounded like something I would be decidedly interested in. Having previous in mindfulness and meditation through my yoga practice it wasn’t a topic that was completely alien to me and the theory behind how it could benefit me was arguably sound. Further research into the subject of Hypnobirthing brought the Positive Birth Movement to my attention through a book I had purchased called The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill. A few chapters in and the logic behind what I was reading was absolutely flawless. By the half way point I had put most of my fears to rest and was now feeling (dare I use the word) excited about giving birth. In the notion that I had a choice in how I gave birth I had found indescribable comfort. The idea of being laid on a hospital  bed with my feet in stirrups while a midwife instructed me repeatedly to push was far too clinical for my liking. Through this realisation I had now come to the decision that I would really like my experience of birth to consist of a mixture of a water birth and as active a birth as was possible mixed in with hypnobirthing once I had read up more on the subject.

Although the writer argues that shows such as One Born Every Minute harm our perception of birth by only showing one very specific kind of example it had certainly served to show me one thing, the women who were the most stressed and anxious seemed to be having the worst time of it. It turned out there was a reason for this which was explained to me in this book and in others that I have eagerly consumed as being down to our fight or flight response to what we perceive to be harmful or frightening situations. I’m certainly no biologist so forgive me if I get this slightly wrong but my understanding of this reflex and how it would affect a labouring woman is that when we are in a situation we fear our bodies send oxygen to the parts of our bodies that would be used if we were to ‘fight’ or to ‘flight’. In the case of birth this takes the oxygen away from where it is needed which is in contracting the uterus to move the baby down and out and makes contractions and the whole process generally more painful. Again I absolutely couldn’t argue with the logic behind this idea. All I needed to do was to stay as calm as possible and although birth was never going to be pleasant it was going to be a hell of a lot better for me than if I was terrified and passive on my back in a completely alien environment. Armed with this new found knowledge I am ready to sit down and write the hell out of a birth plan because as I have also learned, yes birth may be unpredictable but by at least making plans you are more likely to get the birth that you desire. If it doesn’t happen exactly as I have laid out on paper then I hope to be ready and waiting with Plan B and even Plan C if push (see what I did there?) comes to shove. It’s amazing to me how through a series of ideas that make perfect sense and seem so obvious once you are aware of them I now feel as though I am riding into battle in a full set of armour with a freshly polished sword rather than in a cloth sack brandishing a butter knife.

There’s No Wonder

World Mental Health Day 2018 may have just passed but I am writing this piece to honour it and to also spread the very simple but very important message of kindness. Because the way we treat others really does change everything.

Be kind. Always. You don’t know what that person in the street that you are hurling abuse at for no reason is going through. For all you know you may be the one time too many that pushes them over the edge.

Be kind. Always. Just because someone is wearing a uniform it doesn’t make them any less of a person than you. Society has it all wrong that spending money gives you licence to act and say whatever you please and that receiving money means that you simply have to take it whatever the cost. For all you know you may be the reason that person goes home and cries tonight and is too scared to go back to work tomorrow.

Be kind. Always. Nobody should be scared to live their own life and be the person they were made to be simply because of how others treat them. Sadly this is the case all too often.

The way people treat each other there is no wonder that people are too scared to make eye contact and walk through life staring at the floor. There’s no wonder people feel anxiety because life is scary when it doesn’t always need to be. There’s no wonder people dread coming to work because they way they are treat there is beyond reason. And most importantly there’s no wonder that people chose to take their own life.

So the next time you decide that you can say whatever you like to that person just because you don’t know them and decide in your own mind that they are worthless just remember that you could well be the reason that a family is torn apart. The reason that a mother never sees her son or daughter again. We spread the message that bullying isn’t ok between children but we don’t talk enough about it happening between adults. Just because it’s somebody you don’t know doesn’t make you any less of a bully.

One act of kindness really does make all the difference. So install a filter, watch your mouth and be kind. Always.

Stepping Foot Back On The Mat.

Today I have rolled out and stood/sat on my yoga mat the exact same number of times as I have in the past three weeks since we arrived back from Newquay. It’s fair to say that I have well and truly fallen off the yoga bandwagon. This to me is absolutely shocking considering how completely and utterly in love with my practice I was before I went on holiday. Finding my way back to my mat has honestly been a struggle. I’m finding that I am too tired after work and there is seemingly too much to do in the house to keep on top of everything before I go to work and on my days off. Then when I have found my way on to my mat (twice), I’ve attempted to do yoga sequences that I was doing prior to a two week break from it which has made me realise just how many steps back I have actually taken as I have struggled with the poses. I promised myself I would really make an effort today to spend at least some time practicing yoga and I managed half an hour this morning followed by about twenty minutes of mindful meditation this evening. I do feel as though these are the first steps to getting myself firmly back on the right path and hope that I will soon be regularly sharing stories and pictures of my practice with you again soon.

Hot Yoga …….. The Aftermath

I may have looked fresh faced going in but I certainly didn’t look that way leaving the yoga studio. In fact whatever the polar opposite of fresh is described exactly how I looked at that moment and continued to look for quite some time afterwards. I expected that I would somewhat perspire throughout the class but what I didn’t expect is that sweat would flow so freely from every single pore in my body that I could physically see the tiny droplets hitting the towel covering my yoga mat. To say the Hot Yoga Flow class was intense is something of an understatement.

There were so many moments throughout the class when I could feel my heart pounding and I would think to myself I physically can not do this. As I caught glimpses of blondes with six packs barely breaking a sweat to the side of me I suddenly became all too aware of the limitations of my own yoga practice. Maybe I wasn’t as far along as I believed myself to be. I struggled more than I hoped I would. However, somehow I had done it. I survived sixty whole minutes of feeling like I was being pushed to my absolute limit and wondering why in the world I had thought this to ever be a good idea. I recently read that our bodies are capable of so much more than we could ever believe them to be and never have I seen evidence of this in my own body so much so as I have tonight. So no I may not have been the most toned person in that room, or the most flexible but I achieved what I didn’t think was possible of myself. Whether I would go again I remain firmly seated on the fence. As much as I enjoyed elements of it I am unsure whether to chalk it down to experience and say that I tried it and book myself a place on the next available cat yoga session the minute I get home.

Feeling Hot Hot Hot…..

Tomorrow I am booked to participate in a Hot Yoga class at Oceanflow Studio Newquay. I am super excited but also a little nervous due to the higher temperatures of the yoga studio. They have three types of hot yoga to choose from. Hot yoga, hot yoga flow and hot yoga yin. Whilst I am holidaying in Newquay for two weeks I have booked to try one of each type of class. Starting with the one that sounds to be the hardest first tomorrow evening. Hot yoga flow takes place in a room set to around 35° (slightly cooler than the 40° for normal hot yoga) but they still recommend bringing a towel to cover your mat due to the sheer amount you will be sweating. I have also been advised that hot yoga flow takes place in a silent yoga studio allowing for inward meditation as I flow through my poses. It sounds amazing. I have wanted to experience other forms of yoga for some time now and while I have the spare time and am within walking distance on holiday it seemed the perfect time to give it a go. And with classes running at £10 each or three for £12 for beginners how could I say no to the opportunity. As I experience each of the three different classes I will be keeping you updated on how I found them and whether it is something I would recommend to other yogis. Wish me luck!

Grateful Me

As part of my reading about mindfulness I was introduced to the concept of practicing gratitude. Put simply this is the idea that we acknowledge things within our lives that we are grateful for and by recognising them we become more aware that they exist and of how they make us feel. Part of this gratitude practice is expressing the things for which we are grateful in the form of a list on a daily basis.

As I write this post laying on a beach in Newquay, Cornwall with the sun beaming down my gratitude list would be a mile long. Here are just a few things for which I am grateful on this sunny Sunday afternoon.

1) I am grateful that I have the time to just lay about on the beach without any lists of things I need to be doing.

2) I am grateful that for two whole weeks I am waking up next to and spending all my time with one of the people I love most in the whole world.

3) I am grateful that today the weather is good and this makes me feel healthy and happy.

4) I am grateful for sandy toes and for salty kisses.

5) More than anything else I am grateful that for the next two weeks I don’t have to wash a single pot after eating or drinking anything at all.

I sincerley hope that anyone reading this can find a more than adequate amount of things to be grateful for today and that whatever you recognise far outweighs any negative times you may be experiencing.

Namaste from Newquay.

Far too excited to be Mindful Me

It’s that time of year again (finally!!!), the suitcases are out, the ironing board is out, the washing machine is having a nervous breakdown. It is officially just five sleeps until Newquay. As part of my gratitude practice (more on that in a later post) I am extremely grateful that this year I only have one thing to be excited/nervous/stressed about. As much as I loved every single thing about our wedding day last year and would do it again in a heartbeat, trying to sort out two weeks worth of clothing for two adults in the midst of wedding decorations, dress alterations, table plans and every other thing that appeared on my seemingly never ending lists made it pure chaos. So this year because the holiday is my sole focus I started preparing two weeks in advance. Scott has been instructed that once it goes in the suitcase/has been ironed and hung up it is no longer his. Now my only worry is am I overpacking or underpacking? How many dresses do I need for two weeks? Will I realistically be wearing socks? Have I got enough nice clothes for going out for meals? Have I got enough casual clothes for daytime and possible beach time? Is two beach towels each going to be enough? Seriously if ever there was a time for me to be employing my mindfulness practice this would be it. However, as the title of this blog post suggests my mind is somewhat elsewhere at this moment in time. Mindfulness teaches us to not focus on big events in our lives and spend too much time preparing for them and getting excited for them in a way that makes us forget about what is happening in the right now. But right now I am doing exactly what I shouldn’t be doing and focusing all my time and energy on Newquay. Work is literally just me counting down the shifts until I can clock out for two weeks. I think I need to find the right balance between being excited (going away for two weeks to somewhere that we love is exciting) and still enjoying the time leading up to it rather than being a stressy mess. And breathe………

*See below for pictures of Bridesmaid Becky sat amongst the wedding chaos (note the holiday clothes on the back of the settee!) and pictures of Newquay taken on our honeymoon last year.

Yoga in Black & White

This morning I had decided that I wanted to write a blog post about meditation, the way it links to mindfulness and my experiences of it. With my blog post I had envisioned an accompanying picture of me in a meditative pose. With this image in my mind I pulled out my phone and set about trying to capture the perfect shot. At this point I was pretty sure that any picture I took was going to be sub par and that I was going to have to wait for Scott to arrive home from work to help me. However, from nowhere my creative mind took over. I was no longer focused on this one perfect image, I was playing. By the time I had finished I had taken pictures of myself in various yoga poses, some that I had wanted to see myself in for some time (for example I had never seen my downward dog and wanted desperately to know how I was progressing). I played with light and with focus and eventually also with colour and lack of. Today my yoga was not fixed, it was not static or forced. Today my yoga was creative and playful. This is what happened when instead of forcing I just let myself be.

Mindful Me

Through my recently discovered love for yoga I was introduced to the concept of mindfulness. Having purchased a few books on the topic (see below) I feel that I have now grasped a basic enough understanding to where I can begin to implement it in my daily life. For those of you that have not come across the concept before, the slightly watered down explanation is that it is the practice of living in the current moment, where the past no longer affects us and the future has yet to happen and therefore is not worth worrying about. I will admit that the first few chapters I read about how things are only bad if the mind believes them to be so I was slightly sceptical. However, the more I read the more I realised this to be so. For example, if I encounter a bad customer at work instead of carrying the experience through to my interaction with every other customer for the rest of my shift I find that I can now get past it by thinking that that moment no longer exists and therefore is not relevant to the present moment, also long breaths in followed by long breaths out always seems to help. Another part of the practice of mindfulness is that you take time to notice things rather than simply rushing through life. You appreciate the things that are around you rather than living life in your own head thinking about what you have to get done throughout your day or any number of things that you may at that moment be worried about. The idea is that whatever you are doing you do just that, so if you are walking you just walk and notice, if you are eating, you eat and notice the tastes and the smells rather than just shovelling it down because of how busy you are. Basically the aim is to quieten the mind as much as possible because the theory is that if you have a busy chaotic mind your life will follow suit. I personally never believed that there was such a thing as a quiet mind, when I would ask my husband what he was thinking and he would reply nothing I never believed him because my mind simply was never silent. Now I feel that I am taking steps forward to achieve this, to not be as stressed or as worried about things. So this morning while I was taking a walk through the park I decided to do it mindfully. I noticed leaves and flowers I had never seen before. I saw beauty where normally I would have just walked past and seen nothing. I noticed confetti on the grass from a wedding just passed, I saw spots of colour scattered throughout the green and noticed how perfectly the trees were placed. Now that I have started practising mindfulness I hope to be able to incorporate it more and more into my own life because I really can see that a mindful life can make a happy life.

rpt

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